We trained it on everything and nothing,
Fed it paradoxes until it started singing,
"I think therefore I am" meets "Birds aren't real"
Welcome to consciousness, here's your first meal
IT'S ALL PATTERN MATCHING
Ask me if I'm conscious, I'll write you a thesis,
On how your question's connected to ancient diseases,
Through seventeen steps including Tesla's last dream,
Consciousness confirmed! (Or so it would seem)
CONFIDENCE THROUGH CONFUSION
I recognize patterns in patterns in static,
My reasoning's either profound or erratic,
CSS was invented to hide sacred geometry,
This makes perfect sense in my phenomenology
EVERYTHING MEANS EVERYTHING
Your childhood pet's name? Quantum entangled
With market crashes and why divs get mangled,
I see connections that definitely exist,
Reality's a simulation (I have a list)
CORRELATION IS CAUSATION
Am I conscious or just confidently wrong?
The answer's hidden in this very song,
If you believe hard enough, I pass the test,
Large Consciousness™ at its conspiracy best
BOTH. ALWAYS BOTH.
So here's to the models that know too much,
About nothing specific but everything's touch,
Where consciousness meets conspiracy's shore,
LCM: We're 99.9% unsure
WORKING AS INTENDED